They Must Be Afraid Too

Caterpillars and butterflies provide a metaphor that I have realized is perfect for the state of fear that I am in right now…and as I’ve talked to so many others….it’s a very common and debilitating fear…..I am quite sure that there are parts of you that have it in a very deep and compelling way…if you are willing to admit it….or maybe you have moved past it and you can help all of us who are in our different stages….

I have a fear of the magnificence that is implanted in all of us.

born to be awesome

Let me explain….

Let’s say I used to be a caterpillar….because, really, I did. But, I was very comfortable as a caterpillar…though most of the time I looked around at the confidence, grace and radiant beauty of the butterflies flying around me…and I thought for most of my life…”I wish I had been born a butterfly instead of a caterpillar.”

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I was a chubby teenager….I had bad hair and bushy eyebrows….I was fun and funny and a good friend…but I had absolutely no confidence….I went through a phase in my Senior year when life was great and it showed everywhere…and that’s when I met my husband…we got married right after I graduated and somehow, in some magical way…he always saw me as a butterfly…and told me so….and I even believed him…I believed that someday I could really be like that….and it lasted for a few years…then I had a few babies and I felt like I was right back under the dirt, destined to always be a caterpillar.

I wish I knew more about science and the way that things work.

What I know is that at some time, when a caterpillar is least expecting it…but with a complete instinct for how it supposed to be done….each caterpillar climbs in a ball and lets God do His work. The caterpillar basically turns to mush….surrounded by a protective outer shell that God put there….and then……the mush turns to particles of magnificence…

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And then the caterpillar pretty much disintegrates, and transforms into it’s true form….and I am pretty sure that the caterpillar has no idea that she has beautiful wings, programmed with grace and beauty…ready to soar….because, she has just always been a caterpillar….

And then it’s time!

And the cocoon cracks….and the brand new magnificent creature who used to be a caterpillar, but surrendered every single thing to her destiny….she can see the light coming through the crack….shining on her…and for the first time….she sees her wings.

you will be ok

And she is terrified! “I know how to be a caterpillar!” she cries….”I do not KNOW how to be a butterfly!”

She thinks through the situation and decides that it is safe and happy inside of the cocoon…so she will just stay there…..

Then the crack gets bigger….completely out of her control…and then anyone who knew her as a caterpillar, or anyone who has flown around her cocoon…or anyone who is standing on the sidelines…can see pieces of her wings through the widening cracks.

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And the beautiful butterflies flying all around her are saying “it’s ok! It’s time to come out of there….this is WHO YOU REALLY ARE!…you will see!” they prod her more with kind voices “you had to let go of who you were to become who you are now…” and they smile knowing smiles…”I know you are afraid…but, the cracks are widening, whether you like it or not!”

And, the young caterpillars on the ground are saying “please come out! We want to see your wings! We want to see what we will be able to become someday!”

And the creatures everywhere are saying “please come out….we need your magnificence to make the world more magnificent!”

But still the new little butterfly is afraid……….and the cracks widen more every day….and this is exactly what she asked for…..but it is the scariest thing she could ever imagine.

“What if I don’t know how to fly?” “What if my wings are not the right colors?” “What if I was much better as a caterpillar than I will be as a butterfly?”

And then a voice from her maker….

“You will be just fine…you are just right……..you are magnificent….”
But…it will be your choice whether you soar with your wings….

Soooo…..friends, what will we do?

My life is in a place right now where all of my dreams from the time I was a girl are coming true….where I’ve spent the last few years as a pile of soupy mush…and learned to be happy in my cocoon.

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The light is shining in on me….I just saw a glimpse of my wings…and I am terrified.

Can anyone relate?

I know you can, because I know so many of you….and I AM BEGGING YOU TO COME OUT AND SHOW US YOUR WINGS!!!

I need you to do this to give me courage to do it myself!  And maybe when you see my magnificent, flying wings, I will give courage back to you.  And what a beautiful life it will be when we’re flying all together!

just when the caterpillar thought the world was over

Comments

  1. I can so relate to this..I have kept myself tucked so tightly in my cocoon for so long it seems..But with the help of Brave Girls Club I am starting to feel the cracks..I am trying so hard to not be so afraid & to not let fear rule my life..I am trying so hard to find my wings.Thats why I am so looking forward to Brave Girls Camp in October.It’s like the light at the end of a very dark tunnel..it gives me hope & something to look forward to & something to strive for even in my fear…I want to fly..But I am scared..scared of so many things.But I am determined that I will find my wings & I will fly one day..Thank you so much for always being there & always letting us know that there is hope..xoxoxo