Sun through Wrought Iron

There’s an old-fashioned term used in wood building construction called SISTERING.  I’ve always found it to be an interesting term, especially in this predominantly male-centric endeavor, the world of building structures.  It means to repair weak floor joists by attaching new joists right along side, to provide the extra support the older joist needs.


The older joist is not removed and discarded, it has support added by its sister joist.  So the two become stronger than one.  They help each other.  The new one doesn’t have to take on the whole burden alone.  It is considered an economical and efficient way to repair sagging or weakened joists.  Well smack me upside the head, what a metaphor is that?????

As a woman in the construction industry for over 30 years, you’d think I would have looked into that term a little deeper.  Interesting indeed that this kind of function was given a feminine name.  Even men recognize the need that women have to support and be supported by each other.  To help support…………

I’ve been doing a lot of traveling lately.  Participating in different types of circles, retreats, journeys, art workshops.  All exclusively with women.  In most ways its refreshing and so healing to be surrounded by all that feminine energy.  To be brought back to my essence.  To circle with kindreds who get it.

Flower flower

To learn from each other.  To teach each other.  To acknowledge each other.  To celebrate the beauty within us, and all around us.  And in so doing, to acknowledge the sacred feminine core within us.  I have learned so much in these past couple of months, that I am still processing and digesting.

Buoyed by all the positivity.  Ignited by all the wonder and love and passion around me and within me.  I created the most beautiful piece of art that I have ever made.  It really felt like it was just channeling right through me.  My intuitive self was fully released.Lisa's deer paint collage

I have been sistered all right!!!!!!!!

But there are infinitely more every-day ways that we are all sistered, if we pay attention.  Dear friends who listen to our woes.  Others who encourage our dreams and aspirations, without envy or negativity.  Acquaintances and neighbors who simply live their lives in gratitude, and therefore spread that feeling all around them.  Female relatives who we help and nurture and protect.  Girls who just wanna have fun!

And so in going to these various gatherings, instead of looking at it like I am searching for something, I look at it as though I am just honoring my deepest soul’s yearnings for feminine connection.  Through shared creativity.  Through laughing.  Through being in beauty with others who see what I see.

I mean, I live on a ranch out in the country.  I work mostly with men, with wonderful people.  But I, like most women, get so caught up in the day to day, the chores, the deadlines, in all the roles we play (mother, wife, worker, etc.), that we never seem to have time for the girl in us.  And it is essential for our emotional and spiritual health to regularly take time for these gatherings and play dates.  It’s not a luxury.Original

So the quickest way to get back to that place, that girl’s soul place, is to open your heart to another woman who meets you there in that same place herself.  And you have an automatic friend for life.  A kindred soul.  Who gets you.

And all is suddenly and again right with the world.  That’s my prescription for world peace.she left beauty wherever she went

Write more notes.  Send love and beauty to those who live far away.  And to those who live near.  Don’t hold back your love.  Because the more you open up, the more you share it, this amazing world will continue to open wider and wider.  This here is my love note to you.three hearts

Sistering is the key.  To unlocking all that ails us.  Don’t you think?

What does SISTERING mean to you?


  1. Brigid Clark says:

    Of Course I shared this!! I loved it when I first read it and I keep reading each day when I need some “sistering” I Love you LIsa! Thank you so much for gracing my life :)

  2. Monique O. says:

    Thank you Lisa! I loved your story. I have always avoided groups of women for most of my life. I hated bridal showers, baby showers, etc.–until recently. Last November I flew to Sedona, AZ for a 4-day women’s retreat (Experience Yourself). It was the first time I ever had a vacation that was exclusively for my benefit–not my husband nor my children. I did a lot of healing there, and I made fast and life-long friends. I knew the content of the retreat would be beneficial but I never expected to forge any friendships with any of the participants. It was so easy to connect to the other women, as we were all there to do some form of healing. We had a common thread. I am forever changed. Sistering is a term I’ve never heard of before, and my father was a prominent business man in the home building industry all of his life. I’m thrilled to have learned this term as it adequately describes the relationship we all had as participants in our retreat. Those women feel like sisters to me. We bared our souls there and we loved and supported one another. How much better does it get than that?

    • Christie R. says:

      I loved the story too, and certainly identify with this comment from Monique. I still haven’t attended a retreat for myself though. I’m afraid that if I do, I won’t ‘get it’, and I’ll feel like a failure. Reading this story reminds me that I really NEED to take time for myself, and not just consider it an option.

  3. Cia Tate says:

    Thanks, I needed that reminder.

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