I own my story

It took me years and years to realise that my life is my own. I’m still so excited by this idea. For so many years, (my whole life, in fact), I thought that I was here to be what everybody else wanted me to be.

I tried as hard as I could to be the perfect daughter, the best friend, the greatest employee. I believed others had the right to expect everything from me. I spent my life trying to give everyone all of me, and having nothing left over for me.

It has only been very recently that I have realised, I am allowed to live for me. I am allowed to own my life. What I mean by that, is, my life is my own.

staying true to who you are feels good

I deserve to do the things that I enjoy. I am allowed to say “no” if something doesn’t feel right to me. Each person has the right to be who they truly are deep inside, including me. And I am allowed to enjoy life! So many times I was criticized for living the best I could, it was confusing. The people who were supposed to love and support me the most, kept telling me I was never enough.

I was ashamed of so many things from my past. I was frightened to share my experiences, to tell people what I had been through. I was afraid of what people would think, of what people would say. And I was scared of the people who had treated me wrong. I thought, if I opened up and was able to be honest about my life and my past, these people would try to harm me further.

Sometimes, I still feel anxious and frightened of certain people from my past. But, now that I can finally be honest with myself, above all, I feel an inner peace that I couldn’t find before. To realise that after all this time I was actually right, that I had a right to be here, that I hadn’t done anything wrong to deserve the things that happened, it is like a release. I feel free. I feel real. 

To have opened up to other people, to realise that I am believed and respected was incredible after so many years of blaming myself and being too afraid to speak out.

I won’t live a lie for anybody else anymore. If other people had wanted me to say good things about them, then they should have treated me better. I own my story and I won’t be afraid to tell it. 

I am allowed to be who I am, and I am allowed to enjoy it! Everyone is so special, don’t ever let anyone make you think otherwise about yourself. The biggest lesson I have learnt recently is that I am free and I am ME!

Always be true to you xxx

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