I Am the Girl in the Red Boots

I want to talk about something that has long been on my heart. This has been burned so deeply in my heart in the last year, that every day I almost choke on it because it is right in my throat…trying so hard to get me to speak up about it.

So…..I want to talk about the things that divide us. I want to talk about the things we call “controversial” ….the things we war over….the things that we use to label ourselves as too different from others, or that we use to label others as too different from us. I want to call its bluff. I have seen what can happen when you bring two or more people from different “tribes” together who have pure intent….without any intent to change each other…only to love each other….miracles can happen.

let's be good to each other

When I was a young woman someone influential told a friend of mine that she shouldn’t hang around me because I wore red boots to church. I was simply the girl with the red boots, a free spirit, with paint on her hands…….but somehow…I was dangerous….I became “the kind of girl who wears red boots”…whatever that means.  I just want you to think about that for a while as I move forward on this post. I think often about what would have happened if my husband had stayed away from me because of my red boots…or if my friends had.   It breaks my heart to think about any of the Brave Girls out there in the world who might shun me because of my red boots….or for any other reason.

red boots

This is not a conversation about going our separate ways after hearing each others stories and blessing each other on our journeys because our journeys are headed different directions….this is about not even giving someone the chance….just because they are wearing red boots to church. (whether it’s the red boots that scare you or the church that scares you) By the way…It didn’t make me stop going to church and it didn’t make me stop wearing red boots either….but it sure made me feel for a good long while like I wasn’t quite right anywhere I stood.

Everyone woman in the whole wide world needs a safe place to go to figure things out…a place where they are loved, and accepted and held sacred just because they are alive…a place where the lights are on so you can step out of the dark….a place where you can take off  your masks and your armor and just be…

EVERYONE needs this…..that’s why we made Brave Girl’s Club…we wanted to make a place like that….we hope that there are lots of places like this in your life….but we wanted to make a place where you could show up and be loved no matter what. This is not a religious, political or any other kind of agenda organization…..this is women unifying and sisters…….and if you make it all the way to the end of the post, you will understand how it really does work, how it really is ok….how it really is true and real that we can love each other no matter our differences…..

all different boots

It is no secret that I am very close to God, something I hold very sacred in my life but never try to push on others……..it is also no secret that I hold EVERY woman sacred…no matter what she believes or how she lives her life….I hold her sacred because I know how hard it is to be alive and to figure things out and to do your best every day to choose the right things for your life and for your family…..I hold her sacred and I love her……even if someone tells me that she is dangerous because of her red boots. The best things in my life have happened when I looked into the eyes and heard the story of girls in “red boots”. It is always worth it to hear a person’s story…and wish them well on their journey….always. It doesn’t mean you have to wear red boots too…it doesn’t even mean that your journeys are compatible or that we should be a part of each other’s daily lives…..but why can’t we ALWAYS hold each other sacred?….and why can’t we especially always refrain from doing each other any kind of harm?

In a circle, at one of our camps…..at any given camp….you might find in the same circle, an elderly widow, a college student, a middle aged woman, a catholic, a buddhist, an atheist, a lesbian, a republican, a democrat, a pagan, an evangelical christian, a mormon, someone who has been married forever in a great marriage, someone who is in an abusive marriage, someone who is divorced,someone who doesn’t believe in marriage, someone who would give anything to be able to get married, someone with lots of kids, someone with no kids, an alcoholic, a food addict, an anorexic……the list goes on and on….as you know….

be kind whenever possible

I could list SO MANY THINGS that we use to divide ourselves from each other. You will find it all in the same circle at Brave Girl Camp….every camp….going on 20 camps now. Only….in most cases…..Kathy and I are the only one who know only SOME of those details.  Because of the nature of our camps……..we get straight into soul matters…..we brush past the small talk and we go straight into the important stuff.

WE SEE EACH OTHER…REALLY SEE EACH OTHER. Labels are never even discussed….no one even cares.  There is no time for that. We don’t talk about religion or politics…we talk about human struggles, and we talk about our dreams, and we talk about ways we want to do more good in the world, and we give each other space to listen to our deepest truth and the respect for each other to live from our deepest truth.  We are there as souls, doing soulwork….and as strangers at first………….the beautiful thing about this is that as the week progresses….the love and support and sisterhood is so deep…..THAT NOTHING COULD EVER HAPPEN TO EVER CHANGE THE WAY WE FEEL ABOUT EACH OTHER. Even if, suddenly, you found out that you were sitting next to someone who is a member of the political party or religion or sexuality or whatever that you had been told (even by yourself) that you could NEVER have anything to do with. It is too late…..you are already madly in love with each other. None of that stuff matters…we are sisters.

you belong and so does she

We hold each other sacred. We hold each other’s work sacred. We hold each other’s beliefs sacred. We hold each other’s hearts sacred. We know for sure that we each hold every woman that we come into contact sacred, no matter her background, beliefs, age, life mission, life goals…no matter her weaknesses, no matter her strengths. We have now sat together at retreats several times….finding that every woman in every circle is very different from every other woman in the circle….ourselves included….but by the time the retreat is over, every woman loves every other woman equally. It is the most beautiful thing you can witness……and we have talked many times about how this needs to happen more often….

It needs to happen and it can happen.  Make it happen.  Look at her, look in her eyes….whoever she is, wherever you find her…look at her and see the beloved soul inside of her.  It starts with me and it starts with you.  Let’s all just love each other…

speak kindly of her


  1. Beautifully said! Thank you Melody.

  2. I, for awhile, was known as the “tattooed lady in #12” at my apt complex. I learned that women are funny. Senior women act the same as teens when it comes to different scenarios. That’s interesting.

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